I've been writing here in anonymity for a couple of months. I started my blog simply to keep a record of what was happening and to give myself a place to blurt it all out.
For some reason the format of a blog – of hitting publish and seeing the text live – gives me a sense of finality and relief. I lived it. I wrote it. I posted it. Done. Plus, it's easier to read and more focused than journaling in a spiral notebook, which I have done off-and-on my whole life – and it doesn't take up any closet space. (My husband does not understand why I insist on keeping boxes of old journals and files full of old writing, but I simply can't let them go.)
Last week, in a moment of optimism and open-heartedness I decided to share my blog by posting the link on Facebook. The moment I did it, I felt terrified and like I might have to lie down. Was it too much? Did I want people I went to high school with and people I work with to read my musings? Was it too embarrassing or too raw? I was so nervous, but I took a breath and let it go.
About five hours later, I went back to Facebook to see if anyone had noticed my post – and I got wonderful, supportive reactions. In fact, I continue to get encouraging comments.
I don't know if anyone will come back to look at the blog again, but I'm grateful for the support I've gotten so far.
I think this motherhood thing is really going to force me to reach out, to ask for help, to expose my vulnerable side more than I'm used to. It's a great feeling to know that when I reach out, there are some people willing to reach back.
Yes, Marla, I've come back :) Mainly b/c there have been no "Here we go" updates on FB!
ReplyDeleteUsed to blog, too. Shut it down long ago, but it served a great purpose when I needed it - I am sure you're finding the same. Thank you for going outside your comfort zone - you writing is humorous and lovely and real. xo, amy b from high school, cuz I think my id comes up as "Author". p.s. I keep all my old journals and writing, too!